God's Grace to Me at 26

About a week ago, I celebrated my 26th birthday--the second time of my life in which I celebrated my birthday out of the states and away from my family (although both of these times, I was with very dear brothers and sisters). A few years ago, I began to be so impressed with the grace of God on these annual occasions. To think, "Why did God let me live another year?" To be filled with thanksgiving for His faithfulness, goodness, and testing throughout the year. And also to examine myself, asking, "What did I do with those 365 days?" Did I waste them or did I improve them in the most profitable way I possibly could?

It is an activity of polar opposites--to see the depths of my sinfulness and to see the heights of God's working in me. The examination brings seriousness to my ambitions, earnestness to my repentance, and a greater desire for personal sanctification on this earth. I believe that God used this year in my life most to make me anxious about pursuing His purposes for me. How is it that I can most bring Him glory? Brainerd and M`Cheyne each died at 29 and this makes me even more anxious. Don’t get me wrong. My perspective is balanced with the knowledge of the sovereignty of God and the knowledge of His eternal love for His children. My thinking, however, is that I just don’t want to be the servant who comes to His Lord with one mina, having just dug it up. Saying to myself, “29 is 3 years away” is profitable and so I believe that it will be a theme for this year (should God give me another year).

I had a great birthday here in Croatia, hearing the Bible taught by a faithful pastor from Jacksonville, Florida.