Strength and Dignity are Her Clothing

Below, I have copied the eulogy I gave at the memorial service for my Mom.
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Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her; (Prov 31:25-29a)

Because Jeanne was the kind of woman this Scripture in Proverbs speaks about, I am provoked also to be one of the children it describes. As you can imagine with the loss so near, this is very difficult and I do not know that my heart will sustain me through what I have prepared to say, yet my Mom raised a son who would try. My aim, then, in these brief moments is to bless my Mom, recounting her uniqueness from a son’s perspective.

She was a woman who was dedicated to her home. She refused to believe the world’s lies that homemakers are somehow second class citizens and parenting is among the hobbies a modern woman can entertain. I bless her for being there and for loving it. She loved her family and raising her children. She understood that making an excellent home required a full-time investment. So… when we wanted be superheroes, she made capes so we could fly. When we were struggling in school, she became our patient tutor. When we were misbehaving, she administered correction. When it was raining outside, she taught us to make cookies inside. When we wanted to compete, she became our biggest fan and supported us with early morning rides to practice. When we grew older, she also became a close friend and counselor, one to confide in with perfect trust.

She was a woman who was dedicated to work. She was among this world’s hardest workers. I know that when she was very young, she worked by ironing the clothes of her neighbors. She also worked as a bank teller. She worked as a homemaker as well as a day care provider from our home for 25 years. In most recent years and until a couple months ago, she worked as a customer service agent for Grace to You. In fact, I knew that her condition was becoming more critical when she stopped working (because if she could have she would have). And she worked with conviction: “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might” (Eccl 9:10), the Scripture says; and in another place, “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve” (Col 3:23-24). She told me a story once. While she was working at Grace to You she processed a letter from a group of children. On the letter, there were quarters, nickels and dimes taped. The children explained that these coins were their allowance and they wanted to give it as a donation to Grace to You. My Mom worked each day with that sacrifice in mind. She worked, worked, worked. In this way, she was also a great helpmeet to my Dad. She could put on gloves and be a construction worker in our yard, and then put on a dress and be such a beautiful lady. Perhaps, her work ethic is best seen through the garden she kept for so many years. To keep a garden demands patience, hard work, and care as a matter of one’s character.

Last, She was a woman who was dedicated to her God. She walked with God, since her early life. I can remember even as a little boy how she would put us to bed. She would tuck me in, then kneel at my bed and invite me to pray. Then she would go to my brother’s bed and repeat, and then to each sister. And she did this every night. By this, I learned that we are to turn to God in everything. Watching over the children committed to her in her day care business, she taught them two things primarily: their ABC’s and about Jesus. It was her pattern to have the children sit down. Then she would hold up flashcards with different names and ask, “Whose name is this?” Or with letters on them, “What letter is this?” But then she would tell them a Bible story. She walked with God through her cancer and gave testimony of His grace in the midst of suffering. On the Thursday night before her home-going, she gave testimony that she knew God was walking with her, each step reminded her of His presence. She said, “I don’t know how anyone could go through this without the Lord.” As a family a few days before her home-going, with some of her last words, she communicated her greatest desire for her children was that they would walk with God and that she would see us with Jesus too.

Jeanne was all these things to me as a son, and I rise up and bless her and miss her.

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